Woke up at 4.30 for no reason at all. Zig (our cat) jumped off the bed - almost like he knew I was awake. I laid awake with the light on. Relaxed. Nothing on my mind. Oh. Yeah. I remember now..
I keep doing that. It's like when you have a worry and it niggles you for a while. Like when you know you've done something wrong and you cringe and worry about the consequences. Then something else holds your attention and it changes your thoughts for a little while.. then your brain pauses.. or you have a moment of silence.. your worry hits you again. Stomach fills with dread, sinks and then you gasp for air. Your brain runs through the situation like you're running your thumb down the side of an Argos catalogue seeing everything go past really fast.
Still laid in bed awake. Ziggy was nudging the bedroom door. Pushed it shut. Well done mate. He's always doing that. Now he can't get out of the room. I've got used to leaving the door open for him to come and go as he pleases at night. Now it was like I had to get up to let him out. If left it, he'd wait til I fell back asleep (if i could) and then would meow and scratch the door.
I went down and made a herbal tea with lemon. Took it back to bed. My mind was ticking now. Anthony was fast on.
Zig was messing about downstairs in a giddy mood.
Back to bed. Light off, let tea cool down. Check phone, nothing. Well it is 5.15am liz. I had some of my tea and must have drifted off. I woke up to a kiss on the cheek and Anthony went to work.
7.30, time to get up, walk in surgery at 8am.
I needed to get my scar checked, it was causing some discomfort to me and had swollen up. It seemed aggravated.
I like my doctors surgery. Really nice staff on the desk, friendly. It's good because they operate on a walk-in - basis from 8 -10am. There was a long line this morning. When I've been before I've been 4th in line. Today i was like 12th. It was gonna be a long wait on first come first served.
8.30. still waiting to go in... Looking round the waiting room I smiled:
This is probably the same for most people's surgeries. At this one you sit and wait and there is a tv screen with scrolling information. When it is someone's turn to go in their name appears on the screen, but it is accompanied by a very loud 'BOM' - if anyone is familiar with it, it's the old microsoft sound from your PC that happens when it won't let you do something.
The only other sounds you can hear is Real Radio on in the background and low chatter from other patients and the staff at the desk.
(There's a proper Yorkshire lady behind the desk, she's fab, proper glammed up, about 50 - 60 years old. Really sweet and always has impeccable manners to anyone she speaks to. Got my eye on her heart necklace, looks like something from Flouncy Flouncy... she has excellent taste what can I say...)
So anyway this loud 'BOM' - made me giggle every time nearly. Me and this teenage lass were smiling at each other - we both noticed that everyone had their heads down some chatting quietly. Then everytime there was a 'BOM' all the people - and it was pretty packed - lifted their heads right UP on the BOM! and stared. It was like lucky draw as to who stood up. Then I was thinking, you don't look like a Steven Waterson. You look like a Paul.
9.15 - my name goes 'BOM' and I stand up and feel like saying, yeah thats ME!!!!!
Dr McC gave me anti -biotics for my scar that is sore and some more Citalopram. Was meant to be coming off it but the recent news isnt a good time to come off it really. Even Dr McC was gutted I'd got cancer, she is really nice. Most doctors I've seen are quite straight down the line. She isnt, she's really like a friend would react but with amazing medical knowledge. And the ability to show care. Some doctors find that hard i've found.
I went home after the doctors, picked up my phone which I'd left at home under my pillow. Do that every so often. I had 4 messages. Rebecca, Mum, Anthony and my cuz Lanre. It's been like this with my phone. Every few hours I get a batch of thoughtful messages. It's lovely and it keeps me going. Thank you xx Please don't stop....
I went to collect my prescription from Boots Chemist, it's only a little Boots near my doctors. They have been ok in the past, a bit hit and miss with the stock of drugs, but usually they are alright.
I went up to the counter, holding my copy of the Application for Prescription charge exemption' form. I felt chuffed I wouldn't have to pay. I spoke to the lady behind the counter. She looked unsure about my form. I showed her it and explained that I had just been given this and needed my prescription. I couldn't face explaining I had cancer, it was there in black and white and the box was clearly ticked CANCER.
She looked blankly and said ''well yeah. But you will need to pay now and claim it back later. ''
I wasnt happy about this. My Macmillan nurse Helen had said this would be acceptable evidence and I wouldnt have any problems.
If this hadnt been so difficult, for example, if it was Sky i was speaking to I would let rip in a constructed calm manner. But i didnt have the energy to explain....
She then said 'let me go see if we have all the tablets.. No.. i'm sorry we don't... I can give you 14 tablets now and you can come back next week for the rest?'
I really couldnt be bothered faffing. I have got appointments in my mind that are coming up, not going backwards and forwards for prescriptions. I told her I'd leave it. I wasnt impressed. But I just couldnt be bothered. I decided to go to a different Boots near where I had to go pick up a parcel for Anthony.
I walked to the counter, again. This time was like a totally different experience. I said the same as last time. The young woman read the sheet - more thoroughly it seemed. She smiled. 'Not a problem,would you like to browse the shop and they will be ready for you as soon as possible.'.....
Two completely different reactions from the same chain of chemist.
I ended up buying some sunglasses for half price with a voucher I had.. some Champney treats and Tea Tree Oil... Liz loves Boots. :o)
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