If you want to start at the beginning of my journey click on 'April' and then my first entry '1.From November 2010 until March 30th 2011.

Thursday 29 September 2011

292. Thanks Sarajane




Sarajane posted this on my FB wall. I love it,, thank you hun xx

291. Better day

At last, woke up today feeling a lot better and gradually as the day has gone on I have improved. I don't have as much aching or pains, i don't feel as weak.

My cannula hand is soooooooooo swollen and in agony! I keep catching it.
Dad came over today - he is a lot lot better now, I was still apprehensive about germs and bugs with him having cold, but he seems to be over the worst of it. He brought me my favourite pork pie from a gorgeous butchers in Otley and a meat and potato pie too. Delish!
We had a nice catch up and a laugh and it really made such a difference seeing my Dad!

Later in the afternoon I had a chat with Jen which made me smile even more. We chatted about all the things we have to look forward to including Lola's 2nd birthday, bonfire night, Christmas and all the other days out we've thought about doing all together. Good times ahead and it's so nice to have someone as special as Jen in my life. We're so good for each other and we just click. :) Life's plans eh.. :D
Will see how I feel tomorrow and might pop up and visit Jen, Lola and the girls.


Been making and sewing this aft and everything's coming together! Got photos. Started on my 3rd project now and it's going well! 1 and 2 are finished!

Well.. I can feel my belly grumbling... need to decide what to have for tea....

Wednesday 28 September 2011

290. Sleeping Lizzzzz

All I have done is sleep and eat.
I feel like a big slobby piggle.

I know I have to rest and eat and take care of myself. I just feel so yuck!
My brain is mashed this week.. I don't have energy to speak at lengths about anything...

The oramorph is working wonders for the pain so thats good.

I snoozed all evening and woke up at 3am with ziggy snoring on my legs. I took myself off to bed and had more oramorph. Then woke up at 7.40am. I got up and had a small breakfast and fell asleep again.
Anthony rang me before 10am and we had another nice chat.

Then Pat came - my Macmillan nurse. She said I am doing really well and was bigging me up for my last chemo. Talking about phased returns at work and making sure I don't rush my body after the chemo has finished.

My head hurts when I tip it back, I can feel all my joints all sore and clicky and the skin is tight which aches like flu.

My eyelashes are longer, I just noticed today, put some mascara on for a change, and they went all long looking, made me soooo happy. Also my eyebrows are getting pretty out of control now! I am letting them grow and grow and then part of the plan is to go and get them shaped and waxed when I treat myself in recovery. Can't wait!

I have a sore throat today too.

Its been amazing weather.... wish I had the energy and want to sit out, but I can't face it at all. I sat in the shade a bit today but that was as far as I got.

Made it up to the shops, but when I got back I felt so sick from the heat that I just flopped on the sofa with a cold wet facecloth.

Mum has caught Dad's cold now and is feeling rubbish. So not really wanting to catch that, so close to the end. Annoying, as I could do with their company, but nevermind, only a couple more days to go now before Anthony's back xxx Then a nice weekend together and maybe a nice drive out somewhere. xx

Tuesday 27 September 2011

289. Article from the Telegraph and Argus

If you click on this photo it will make it larger to read :) xx






288. He's gone!

The beautiful Red Admiral has flown away just now... He must have got that strength from the jam. Yay! x

287. He's still there!

I only just blogged about the butterfly, i know, but he's still drinking the jam on the shed! xx I think I saved his life...

286. Then I was sent a butterfly...

I was just walking around the house trying to shift this sickness feeling, taking deep breaths.
I looked outside into my garden, admired the Bellis that is growing beautifully... And saw this...


A stunning Red Admiral...
The beige crispy bit is the butterfly's cocoon, stuck on it's wing. I helped it out as it was stuck. The rest of it's wing looks really mangled...but it might just be that it was crumpled funny, inside the cocoon..



Look at this little dude's face! So cute! It sat on my hands for ages, trying to gain strength to fly.

We both feel the same here i think...

Pure beauty...

My favourite photo of all...


I placed him high up on the side of the shed in the sun, so he could keep warm and away from cats...!! ZIG...

The bit of cocoon that was left on the wing...

 I thought about how I could help give some strength to the butterfly and put some jam near where it was resting. It started to suck the sugar and I could see dew drops of sweetness going into it's mouth.


He is still sat on the shed licking the jam with his curly tongue.
 Such a beautiful moment this afternoon, when I needed it the most... x



285. Bit of a downer

Struggling today...

Irritable
Impatient
Tired
Want to cry but too angry

Monday 26 September 2011

284. Thanks Lewis - Zip slide video

 I just watched this and I love it.
It brought all the happy emotions back to me - meeting everyone there, being with everyone, the whole experience.
I feature at the start and at the end. Love the end. xxx

283. Anthony to London and Liz to Bedfordshire...

....Bed that is. :P

Anthony went this morning at 5am for more work in London. I was awake anyway and was up with him before he went. It was lovely to see him properly before he went.
I stayed up and watched some catch up tv and had breakfast.

I started to get ear and bone pain and took some Oramorph and slept for a while this afternoon. It's really helped and I feel a lot better this evening.

Just put some dauphinoise potatoes in for tea! hmmmmmmmmmmm.
Been eating fruit and good foods today and drinking well which I think has helped a lot.

Also finished my 2nd sewing project and ready for the next stage. Love making presents!

Got some more forms back from benefits to fill in, so will see Mum one day this week to help me with those and get them sent off.

Dad is full of flu at the moment so I can't get down to see them both, not a good idea at this late stage.  Spoke to him today and he sounded absolutely full of it. :(


The Willow Foundation got in touch today, I had requested a hot air balloon ride, but the lady said they are really weather dependant and I might be better choosing something that I know is reliable and won't have to wait long for. I have always fancied staying in a log cabin with a hot tub outside. Somewhere we can both relax and enjoy some time out. Any ideas like this or different would be realy helpful xxx

Sunday 25 September 2011

282. Sunday, its raining

Hmmmm not impressed with the rain so far this morning.
Been awake since 5am. Got up and watched ER. Carried on with my presents that I am making and made loads of progress with them. So excited. Got an amazing sewing book and planning on making some things out of that soon too.
Anthony goes to London again tomorrow for the week. I feel ok about it, as I know the money side of things will really help us out.
Got some replies already from benefits letters and need to do some more form filling now. Never ending but worth it!
Ziggy has just come in from the rain and is getting cozy now.

Went to Raf and Rachel's last night for a yummy chilli, gorgeous cooking Rachel! It was really delish! I need teaching missis! Andy was there and we all had a lovely catch up and reminicsed about old times. Such a giggle! So many memories. I felt so good for talking and catching up properly, even though they had all come to my zip slide last week,I hadnt spoken to them no where near as much as I wanted to as there were quite a few people to chat to and I had got really tired from all the walking. So chatting last night was lovely xx
It got to about 10pm and my eyes were closing as I was getting a bit tired as time went on but I didn't want it to end. (Raf and Andy spotted me starting to nod!) We dropped them both off for a drink in Pudsey on our way home. Great night x

My left ear is sore this morning and I am thinking here we go again, but it's not long now to go and I will be on my last chemo. I know what I need to do to make the best of this week and how to cope.
Sleep is the best way, as I learnt from last time.

ORAMORPH is at hand!

Friday 23 September 2011

281. Chemo 11

This session felt really tough going for some reason. Think it was the start, Sally couldn't find a good vein and lost the first one. Absolutely hurt like mad, turns my tummy - eesh.
Eventually got one further along, but really hurt and throbbing at the moment from it. Again, it just shows how my veins are completely battered.
My mum was with me, it felt really good. We were in a silly mood and Mum kept making me laugh. And we were getting some funny looks. Mum's head expanded (not literally) when she kept getting compliments for looking so young and looking way to young to be my Mum. It was nice to see her smile like that. She looks younger than her age.
Occasionally waves of sickness would rush over me, especially towards the end of the session. The nurses were so busy and I struggled to get their attention as they had so much to manage. I was there from 1pm and didnt leave til just before 5. The extra 2 hours felt like a life time. I felt trapped, clostrophobic and sick. The moment I got outside I just felt heaps better.
I flopped on the sofa and just felt nauseaus and my hand was throbbing. I took a strong anti sickness which kicked in really quickly.
I slept after tea, I tried to keep my eyes open for a dvd we'd put on but my body was just shattered and my eyes kept closing. I had to give in. I slept again when I got to bed but the steroids kept me awake from 3am and I just got up. Watched my normal trashy tv that i record - easy watching when I feel crap.
Had a great day today though, got cleaning done and some washing. Then bought some material, clothes for my new sewing project, I slept for an hour this afternoon until Anthony came home.
He's going to London again next week. But will be home to come to my LAST chemo with me. Wow....... cant believe it....LAST chemo. Jenny was really thoughtful and asked if she could arrange a meal for us all to celebrate my last chemo, how sweet... really felt special and am looking forward to enjoying time with them all xx
Been for a carvery this evening and Anthony was gorgeous, had loads to tell me and we chatted like old times, it felt really nice. Makes you remember why you're with someone when you go out for a meal and get talking like that. Being apart will be hard next week, esp on my bad week. But I have oramroph to take again and I can just sleep through the day. Mum and Dad will come spend some time with me and I can go down there. Pat the Macmillan nurse wil come see me too to check I am ok.
It'll be great when Anthony comes home again.
We've been talking alot about our future today.. like what we want to do and when. It's exciting, we dont know if we'll get married first or have a baby first..both are such expensive things... but time will tell and we know that for the meantime we just want to get through this part of our lives and enjoy being in our house and together before we do anything big, there's not tearing great rush as we know we want each other and both want to same things. We want some time alone on holiday, next year when I am into recovery.  Not had a proper holiday since 2006. And then to do bits to the house when I am earning again. We havent been able to do anything apart from give the kitchen a lick of paint and tart it up a bit, but that was just enough and we love what we've done on such little cost! We're so happy here. We love it to bits. (And having our cat, Zig) Putting your stamp on somewhere just gives you that belonging feeling I guess...
*content sigh* life goes on xxx

280. Like cutesy things? Fimo sticks!

I have come across something cute and amazing!
Fimo sticks!


They can be used in art and craft - sliced carefully with a craft knife, into slithers. Also can be used on nails as nail art! They're about 6cm long and 0.5cm in diameter, these were on ebay for £1.79 with FREE postage! What a bargain!

279. Baffled by hair growth!

The Nurses at the day unit and me are baffled by the fact my hair is growing back already?! If anyone reading this knows why its growing back so soon, please get in touch. Surely if I am still in chemo my hair would still be coming out and thin?! I love it! It just makes me wonder why at this stage.
Wonder if it's something to do with that fact that theres no cancer left to kill and the chemo is affecting different parts of the body?! xx
16th August

23rd September

23rd September

23rd September

278. Still waiting to hear on T&A

Haven't had an email as yet from T&A, local newspaper for Bradford and available in Leeds and surrounding areas as far as I am aware... I wasnt in it yest, bought a copy at the hospital when I was in for chemo. Gonna go buy one again today just in case! Don't wanna miss it. I will let you all know with text or email as soon as I know when it is! xxx nervous! and excited...!

277. Tegen's story, Deal or no Deal

My friend Hilary text me to say there was an inspring episode of Deal or No Deal to watch. I was only just chatting to my Dad the other day saying how I had become bored with the programme and it was same old. But I took Hilary's word for it and rang Anthony to ask him to record it for me, as I was still at the hospital.

I got home and watched it... AMAZING. A young woman who recently had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Here is the run down from the Deal or No Deal blog.. Worth a little read to see what happened to her and her game story...
( I had javascript problems doing a direct link from blog to blog, so have had to copy the page and insert it here, hope thats ok, ignore this bit below and scroll down)

This Blog
Linked From Here
The Web
This Blog
Linked From Here
The Web
 
Thursday, September 22, 2011

Tegen's Deal or No Deal Game Report 22/09/11

Tegen has box 5 today. Tegen is from Cornwall, and Noel asks about the challenge she has had over the past few years. Tegen explains she went to university but didn't feel quite right and after lots of trips to and fro to the doctors she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma. Tegen shows us some pictures and has her mum in the audience for support today. Tegen shows a picture of the caravan they are living in at the moment while her step-dad is building a barn conversion.

Tegen has a piece of amethyst for luck.

Round 1
Tegen doesn't have a system, but will get rid of some of the bad luck boxes first.
22 - 1p Edith
13 - £1,000 Newbie Jess
4 - £50 Joycey
16 - £3,000 Craig
8 - £10 Nadia

Banker time
What a great opening round says Noel. The Banker says he is on a bit of a roll at the moment, and talks about Tegen's amazing story and how courageous she is.

Banker's offer:
£11,000

Tegen's mum says she thinks she can go on at the moment.

Tegen says
NO DEAL

Round 2
Noel asks Tegan about her illness and how it totally disrupted her education, and Tegan replies that it did, but she is now hoping to go back to Plymouth university soon.
18 - £100 Andy
15 - £1 Tony
3 - £500 Petra

Banker time
Oh wow, we have waited months for one of these starts says Noel.

Banker's offer:
£16,000

Noel looks through some of Tegen's dreams, she would like to help her mum and step-dad with the barn conversion, donate some money to a charity, and also travel a little as she hasn't even got a passport at the moment. Tegen thinks there is another round in her game.

Tegen says
NO DEAL

Round 3
9 - £5 David
Oh brilliant, she just doesn't know what red looks like says Noel.
20 - £750 Charlotte
What is going on asks Tegen!
17 - £75,000 Tabitha

Banker time
Tegen says that it was going to happen at some point. The Banker says finally.

Banker's offer:
£18,500

Tegen says that she always said she would like to see how far she could go in her game. Tegen talks about how she got the call to go to her DoND audition while she was having treatment, and the call really lifted her and gave her something to focus on.

Tegen says
NO DEAL

Round 4
10 - £1,000 Neil
19 - £5,000 Mark
Noel asks for a blue please.
12 - 10p Jodie

Banker time
What an 8-box says Noel, the top 2 and a great backup, this is perfect. The Banker calls and Noel is laughing so the Banker hangs up!! Noel says that Tegen had better answer the phone next time. The Banker calls back and Tegen chats to him and says that it is a good board isn't it, she then tells the Banker she might just sit there and keep saying NO DEAL. The Banker talks to Noel and says he thinks he is in big trouble.

Banker's offer:
£26,000

Noel says should we asks mum's opinion. Her mum says that she thinks she knows what Tegen is going to do, and she is going to make her go grey

Tegen says
NO DEAL

Round 5
6 - £100,000 Tammie
Oh dear says Noel, not a great way to start the round
21 - £35,000 Woody
1 - £250 Steve

Banker time
What a game, and what an atmosphere says Noel. The Banker says that there was 2 huge reds in that round.

Banker's offer:
£33,000

Noel asks Tegen if she wants her mum to come and join her at the Pound table, and she does. Tegen's mum says that she could do so much with that offer, and do all her dreams. Tegen talks about how she could do so much with that money, but she really loves the show, and she could see herself at home telling herself to play on.

Tegen says
NO DEAL

Round 6
Noel wishes Tegen good luck.
4 - 50p Duane
The whole studio erupts, and Noel gets out the tissues just in case.
7 - £10,000 Sheila
You are now guaranteed £20,000 says Noel.
11 - £50,000 Smah

Banker time with £20,000 and £250,000 remaining

Tegen says that she never thought this would be her. Noel says that this is going to be one of the most important phone calls of her life. The Banker says that the £50,000 was really important for him.

Banker's offer:
£77,000

Tegen turns to her mum, and her mum asks how she feels. Tegen says she would never swap her box away as she would feel so bad if she had the £250,000 and gave it away. Duane asks how Tegen would feel if she played on and missed out the £77,000, Tegen says that she would say that she still has £20,000. Tegen says that she had always said to everyone that she would play to the end, but she never thought she would be in the position.

Tegen says
NO DEAL

Noel says that people who follow the game say that the SWAP decision is the hardest one to make.

Noel asks Tegen
SWAP or NO SWAP

Tegen says
NO SWAP

Noel opens Tegen's box 5 and reveals £250,000

The confetti cannons go off and everyone runs out to congratulate Tegen who becomes the 4th person to win £250,000

Noel talks about the incredible spirit that Tegen has, and asks Tegen to keep in touch, he then gives Tegen her box to keep.

Kerrie with box 14 contains the £20,000
 

276. Forms all done

All the forms that have been hanging over me for past weeks and months are all now filled in and done. After having that period of time when I was in a lot of pain, there was no way that money was at the forefront of things. But now, at a stronger point, I have been able to get them all done with the help of Mum. Just got one more bit to add to one of them before sending off and then I can forget about it.
Talking to Ceri from Macmillan really helped and she was in Shipley of all places which is close by to where I live! Pretty cool after calling a national number and getting through to her there! Shows how efficient they are as my letter arrived the next day after speaking to Ceri! A personal letter as well, mentioning my name and Anthony's clearly and in context to our situation. Makes all the difference doesnt it? I now have a Macmillan grant form to fill in, which is to apply for a one off £300 grant to go towards helping with certain things to do with my treatments. Fingers crossed I can qualify for a little extra help.

Thank you again Mum for your help the other evening xxx

Wednesday 21 September 2011

275. Groups to join if you have HL

There are some fab support groups on Facebook for people fighting Hodgkin's Lymphoma
https://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/profile.php?id=100001553692536


https://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/groups/22423098653/

Both have wonderful members and I have made many online friends to help support me with questions or worries. Also they understand everything I am going through and message me daily or every other day with support and hope messages xxx

274. I love my sewing machine baby!

Aw I am in love with my new sewing machine.
FINALLY, felt well enough to use it for the first time last night and got started on finishing the present I have been making for a special little someone. Can't wait to show it to you, but won't be able to for a little while yet.
It's so easy to use and makes me smile! I need to get hold of some fabric scraps to make a few little things. If anyone knows of anywhere that does fabric remnants please get in touch.
xxxx

273. Good experience, bad, then good again!

One of those days! Woke up worrying about money. I don't know why. For some reason I just did. Some days I wake up and think of nothing but pain, but I can usually tell I am on a good day physically when I can have the strength to worry about something like money. Anthony told me to stop worrying and we will be ok. But I am the worrier in our relationship. I have to talk things through and sometimes more than once if it's really getting to me!
I've had information about benefits from someone who I went to see back in June or July time. But then I had just stopped on full pay and still didn't qualify for any form of help.
So I got the Disability Living Allowance form filled in and just have a few bits to go. Then I also spoke to Macmillan and was told I can apply for ESA which replaces my SSP when that stops in Oct. My wage will stop in November. It's going to be tight and very hard work, we're going to have to keep ourselves afloat as much as we can. I can also apply for a Macmillan grant too, but that is means tested so will need to wait and see.

So I called the number Macmillan gave me for the ESA benefit. I found speaking to the woman on the end of the phone at the job centre very hard work. She was unfriendly, short, sharp, official and too fast.
 I felt bamboozled, lost, confused and bloody stupid to be honest.
 I ignored her rude tone to begin with and reminded myself that this had to be done in order to get somewhere. I understand people need to do their jobs and be official and ask all the relevant questions. But surely, honestly, if these workers deal with people making claims for cancer that they should be spoken to with some sort of sensitivity? Training into what cancer patients might be going through? Awareness at least given to the workers? I don't want spoon feeding or speaking to like I am an idiot, not at all. But I don't expect to be rushed or made out to be stupid. I made my feelings clear to the woman on the phone and there was silence. I explained that someone going through chemotherapy is in pain, is tired and a - normally - quick phone call like this is hard work to me. Talking numbers, figures, listening to complicated worded questions and trying to figure out what they mean by them, are all challenging things when you havent worked for 6 months. I burst into tears on the phone. I had been so hurt by her impatient tone and ways. I told her this too. She apologised instantly. But I was pretty angry and needed a moment to calm down. She called back 2 mins later like she said she would and instantly apologised again for speaking out of turn and rushing me.

Compare this to the likes of well trained staff who work for Macmillan. Couldnt be more different and more professional. Unbeliveable service and help from Kerry at the Welfare Rights Team. Yes, they are trained in this capacity of course! And this is the difference. Kerry spoke to me for 40 mins about all the things available and how best to support my forms with evidence of my illness. I expressed my gratitude to Kerry and felt so much better after talking to her. I felt stronger and more hopeful. I think the fact that I had had such a good experience on the phone to Kerry, that when I spoke to the job centre it was like BOOM. And my expectations were wayyyy too high.

So it's been quite a day really... these two phone calls had to be made, then my blood test and then the local paper calling me for me to feature in it.
Going to Mum's tonight to finish these benefit forms and also apply for interest only on my mortgage. All form filling, all time consuming and tricky when your head is so fuzzy from not working, chemo and feeling weak at times. There has to be a strong day available to do all these sorts of things.

Wish me luck! haha xxx

272. Money keeps on coming! thank you

Thank you to:
Helen Bowles and Holly Jones for their donations to Cancer Support!
My total so far is now £1268.50 and still counting! Got more to add to my site tonight so keep watching xx

271. Worst blood test!

OUCH!
Went for blood test this morning. Waiting room was packed!
Eventually got in for bloods. A new health care assistant joined the team, she hasnt worked in there when I have been in the day unit, so I havent met her before.
She came over to do my obs - blood pressure, temp and swab for MRSA. She sat down to take my blood. I could tell without her saying anything that she wouldn't be able to find a vein. It took a while to find one, normally my veins are ok and have been great up until the last chemo.
The healthcare assistant started to prep my arm and did the well known tapping on the skin, turns my stomach everytime and makes me faint. I think I felt more nervous because she hadnt taken my blood before and I am so used to the regular staff, weird because thats never crept into my head before, but for some reason today I felt scared. She inserted the needle and it hurt! Then the needle fell out and blood was leaking out of me, I couldnt look. The lady seemed really disappointed, as was I! It would mean I'd have to go through it again now. eesh.
She looked again at my veins and even looked at the possiblility of taking from my left knuckle! I refused. NO WAY. The cannula hurt enough the other week when it was just below my right knuckles, when I cried like a baby. Stacey, who regularly works in there offered to come over and swap. I felt a bit more at ease, as I know Stacey is really gentle, but firm and I have always had a good experience with her. She tried again, but this failed as well. And a third time! My veins must be completely battered. I am surprised they have lasted so well so long to be honest. Most people on the day unit have PIC lines, when there's permanently a line in the skin. Diane, the nurse on the day unit came over to help and eventually found a vein, it was really deep - abba babbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
All done and waiting to see if all goes ahead for Chemo 11 out of 12 tomorrow!

270. T&A just called!

Oooh! Just had a phone call from the Telegraph & Argus local newspaper!
Spoke to a lovely lady called Claire, and I am going to be featuring in the paper for raising the money for Cancer Support! Excited :D
Waiting for confirmation email as to when it will be! xxxx

Tuesday 20 September 2011

269. Mike Cook photos

me and Mike



Millie




Katy  (Anthony's big sis)

tired liz with Anthony

268. Feeling Great

I feel really good today! Strong, happy and well.
It's cold though and drizzly!!
Got a big load of washing hanging everywhere possible to try and get it dry. Heating just gone on and Ive got the big white snuggly blanket round me.
I am going to do some cleaning and take breaks in between. It's nice to feel well enough to do little jobs. Then I am going to watch a film, (Sword in the Stone!) and relax, maybe do some art as I chill out.
Blood test tomorrow for possible Chemo 11 on Thursday.
Mick Cook has just put some photos on from the Zip Slide on Sunday, they are fab, i love them xx
Such a good memory to have! Will add some soon x

Monday 19 September 2011

267. Sponsor people!

Thank you to:

Laura Smith
Leanne Simons
Raf Chandler
Rachel Parkinson

 Your sponsor money means a lot and I really appreciate it xxx So generous!

I also have a list of people from Anthony's Mum - Jean - who have also sponsored me!
A special thank you to Jean for helping me out and raising £144.50 at her work and socially.

Thank you to:

Jean Lee
Margaret and Doug Scruton
Norma Witham
Patricia Gilks
Anjam Mahmood
Eileen and Brian Robinson
Pat Wainman
Eamonn
K Mcmonigle
Gupreet Romana
Lauren Bell
Sajda Rasool
Sharron Haigh
Alan Lilley
Gordon Sneddon
Andy Riley
Martin Gunby
Stephen Sanderson
Graham Wride
Ken Goodall
Chris Downes
Rose Sherburn xxxx

266. Something to share

Paula is a very special lady, who I have become friends with through chatting online.
We met on facebook via the Hodgkins Lymphoma support group. Paula has been a big support to me.
She posted this - i wanted to share it on my blog, because not everyone reads this blog via facebook.

265. Fave moments from tv that make me smile, give me goosebumps






I absolutely love the tv show 'My So-Called Life'



This is one of my fave scenes. Not caring what anyone thinks. Just be you and enjoy.



Never FAILS to make me laugh, watch when Will throws Carlton!



HILARIOUS

264. More zip photos to see!






263. The big zippy day

What an incredible day! I DID IT!  I am so grateful that I was well enough to take part and enjoy it as much as I did!


I started to get shaky hands when we arrived there and every step I took felt like work. The walk from the end of the zip line where my family and friends were was quite sizeable for someone who hasnt exercised since March! Actually, just realised typing this that the event sheet said the zip goes 220m from start to finish, so 220m add a bit more for going in and out of the building. Then multiply it by about 3 or 4 times as I had to go backwards and forwards.
220m, who would ever have thought I would say that I was tired walking that distance?? It just shows the toll chemotherapy takes on the body.
Walking was hard work. I could feel my muscles crying. I felt quite unsteady on my feet.

The banner that Charlie
and his mummy Helen T made for me! I LOVE IT




Helen T, David, Will and Charlie came to support me and my Mum and Dad. It was lovely to see them all together. Charlie kept shouting Go Liz! It was wonderful. Seeing everyone together made me feel so special and loved. They were all there for me. I felt in the spot light and like, ta da! It was a nice feeling though.
Zoe, Kelly, Chris and Carmen, Cheryl, Grant and Eva were there too! I work with Zoe, Kelly, Cheryl and Grant. They all gave me massive hugs and made me feel so supported and loved. How lovely that they took time out of their weekends to come and spend it with me and see me do the zip slide. I thought this was really special. xxx
Raf, Rachel, Andy, Vicki W, Sophie and Tom came too! They were stood together catching up which was nice to see. They all looked really smiley and happy to be there.
Katy and Millie came - Millie was holding a sign and cheering for me, so cute!
My Aunty Helen and cousins Katie and Joe cheered for me too. Katie took some great photos.
Anthony's Mum, Dad and Grandma were there. Anthony's Mum gave me the biggest cuddle. It was so nice. I feel so happy.
Mick and Julie Cook - Anthony's family friends and who we have known over the years from going to airshows, rallies etc, came to join in the support and Mick took some photos with his impressive lenses. :) Mick is a very talented photographer and took piccies at Katy and Mark's wedding in Oct 2007.  He gave me a big bear hug and seemed really chuffed to be there. It meant a lot to see everyone all together.

So! The zip slide itself?! Well, it was incredible! I got such a rush from it!


Going up to the hatch - the red dot on the building shows roughly where the hatch was - I felt so excited and was buzzing! There were ten of us doing it for Cancer Support, including Sarah Firth who works there, who came to visit me. Its been fab getting to know Sarah and to share the experience was special.
I also got chatting to a lovely lady called Julie Elliot. We had a giggle together and it was really great to find someone so friendly and on the same wavelength. We all had our harnesses, hats and gloves on and were ready. It was a real effort for me to get harnessed up, I couldnt hold myself up very well and Julie helped me to stay balanced. Simple tasks like 'put your foot in there' aren't simple for me. I have to really concentrate to balance and do it. I have to slow myself down and take it steady. We had to squish in the lift and we got to the third floor, we then had to get another lift to the top! Everyone in the lift went quiet for a short moment. My brain was whizzing all over the place. I was thinking about going down the zip ,how it would feel, what it would look like. Someone broke the silence. I realised I was miles away in my own thoughts. Smile. 
 When the lift doors opened, I didn't want to get out. It felt so surreal. I looked and could see an opening, was that IT? The hatch I would be going out of?? no wayyyy..!



We waited for the second half of the group to come in the lift and talked nervously among ourselves.. Once we were all together, the guy sending us down the zip, gave us a quick talk through what we needed to do - make sure when we saw the silver fiesta to grab back hold of the rope (if we wanted to let go!) and then put your hand out to the guy at the bottom. Lewis who was filming  everything, went first. Then Sam. Then the guy said, who's next. Silence. 'ME!' I went for it!
It was awkward getting my legs and body into the small hatch, I had to sit with my legs out in front of me

'Do I have to go now?!'

I was really nervous now, everything was in sight, I had to push myself out and zip down the line! I asked if I had to go. I was really scared!! I had to trust the line!  I went for it! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!



This was the best bit, felt so free, amazing.. just too quick! would do it again in a heartbeat!

This guy was so lovely! Had a really nice chat with him. I had to be asked to leave the stand eventually though, someone else had to come down the zip for Bradford Cancer Support of course!

Thanks to everyone that donated to my zip slide event! It was a total success and I had the most special time and enjoyed it way more than I thought I would!

Thank you to everyone that came along to support me - hope you enjoyed yourself xx

Saturday 17 September 2011

262. More sponsors!!!

Total has gone up to £1084!

Thank you so much to

Danny Frank
Sarah Nye
Liz Mould

Every pound is appreciated whole heartedly xxxx

261. Under chemo

Caring for myself whilst under going chemotherapy.....
... Is a full time job.

260. Not long now>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ZIP!

Well, it's Saturday evening and tomorrow morning I will be on my way to Xscape to take part in the Zip Slide I have been waiting for!
It seemed like a longggggggg time away when I signed up to it a couple/few (can't remember) months ago. I remember wanting to have something positive to finish chemo with and now, even though I still have a couple sessions to go because some got delayed, I am still very much pleased that I will have tomorrow as a positive experience within this chemotherapy.

Our families and friends are going to be there to support me. I am looking forward to doing it and making everybody proud.

As far as how I am feeling and if I am well enough to take part, I am doing quite well today! I havent had any oramorph since Thursday. I have had leg pain last night and today but no where near as bad to take any strong pain relief. I believe the way I looked after myself from Mon - Thurs has had a massive impact on my body and the rest has helped immensely.

I have had a little cold these past couple of days and this morning my head pain was so bad with it that I felt sick. Anthony got out of bed and made me toast and a drink and brought painkillers. We've got a really great relationship, I am so proud of us. Just the little things like that, we take care of each other.  I did that same for him when he came back from being on site midweek, he had been poorly whilst away and when he came home he looked terrible. We work together so well and have this understanding of each other that makes me feel warm and fuzzy. I feel like we have such a strong bond through all this. Anthony told me this morning he's proud of me and thinks I am doing so well and coping well. I sort of scrunched my nose up in question. I'm silly for not realising it, but when you are the one who has to get on with it and do it, there's no other way. I've said before if I hadn't have experienced such a low point in my life before all this I wouldnt be able to recognise going down to that low point, but because I have been there, I know the slipping signs and know I'd never want to be rock bottom again like that. I guess, when I think about it, that's a good thing about all my art and craft and things, they keep my mind busy and creative. I throw myself into that and generate good feeling to squish round me. My garden keeps my mind healthy too. I'd never give up having a garden. Its such a feeling having one.

Went off on one there didn't i.. been a while i guess.

Had a really nice night last night with Jenny, Fiona and Nicola. I really needed a night where I could relax with the girls and just laugh. Bliss x

Well, if you're coming tomorrow ----- See you there! If not, look out for the photos on Facebook and I will post some on here xx

Friday 16 September 2011

259. So far - amazing amount raised!

258. Thank you to workers at Airedale Air Conditioning (Part 2)

These generous people signed Anthony's sheet and donated money to my zip slide!
 They have pledged and contributed to make the total raised from Airedale Air Conditioning £569!

Danny Green
David Smithson
Ray Singh
Martin Wilkinson
Reg Eveleigh
Danny Huntley
Ikrammulah Khan
Gary Cromack
Jed Wilkes
Michael Meads
Andy Shears
Richard Shepherd
David Strong
Phil Roper
Gary Hindle
Ross G
Sukbinder Ubbi
Barry Faith
Paul Rattigon
Dean Gill
Nigel Millett
Steve Lemmon
Mark Dowell
Dave Wilkinson
D. Shijan
Daz Hutchinson
Paul Rogers
Phil Elliot
Tony Padron
Simon Gaunt
Keith Wright
Tony Coldecott
Phil Irvin
Nicolo Peverello
Mark Shaw
JD Brown
Graham Collins
Andy Hawkshaw and family
Howard Metcalf
Ben Jacques
Maggie Potter
J Smith
Martin Conroy
Jay Fell
John Potter
J Beastall
S Thorburn
Brenda Hemingway
David Marshall
Jonathan Bentley
Barry Green
L Booth
A Houlding
A Kelly
K Topp
BA Bedard
E Hutchinson

 THANK YOU EVERYONE! I AM ABSOLUTELY GOBSMACKED! BRING ON THE ZIP SLIDE ON SUNDAY! xxx

257. Lovely thoughts to share






256. Thank you to workers at Airedale Air Conditioning (Part 1)

Anthony and Derek (his Dad) have been rallying round at their work, Airedale Air Conditioning LTD
collecting sponsors for my zip slide! How amazing and generous? Love them to bits xx

I would like to mention everybody who has sponsored me to do this and helped to raise a sub total of £321. These people have signed Derek's sheet, I will add Anthony's sheet soon!

Apologies for any spelling errors xx


Derek Lee
Jon Cree
Belinda Dawson
James Pickersgill
Adele Hazelgrave
Sue Everley
M. Lane
P. Harrison
J. Hodgson
L. Granger
D. Hey
JP. Williams
R. Winter
D. Andrew
S. Sands
T.J Kisaut
J. Philipson
D. Mac Gregor
J. McLie
Matthew Thompson
Andrew Trickett
Paul Stringfellow
James Holding
Tony Hoak
Richard Steel
Patrick Cotton
Mike Peachey
Martyn Jackson
Callum Teahan
David Wilks
Chris Postlethwaite
Joe Hulme
Celia Sharp
Richard Burcher
June Tale
David Hardaker
Kevin Kurup
John Clegg
Chris Coates
Deepak Kotta
Callum Hayes
Ian Henderson
Debbie Bedford
Michael Lozand
Tom Kennedy
Tim Palmer
Geoff Stockton
L Musgrove
Catherine Ansari
Adrian Trevelyan
Dave Broadley
Anthony Cole
Clive Parkman
Steve Joyce
Mandy Burke
Steve Whitehead
Jun Martinez
Rhys Thomas
Becki Pennock
Karen Glancy
Paul R
Richard Chalk
Steve H Brown
Caroline Chappell
Brian Smith
A. Croft
S. Goodridge
M. Howard
P. Golding
J. Jones
Jamie Acs

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH EVERYONE!!!!
 You have encouraged me to keep believing and to continue being detemind to do this!

255. Thank you Nicola xxx

Special thank you to Nicola Hurle, one of my Mum's closest friends, for sponsoring me!
Love to you and big special cuddles to Matthew! xxx

254. Happiness

Woke up about 6am after silly nightmares and minging tastes in my mouth from chemo.
I got up, had toast and caught up with some trashy tv.
I felt good, no bone pain, just a slight ache in my legs like before...but miles better than any other day recently.

I decided to go for a drive - it felt so good. I went to the shops. To do something so simple, felt so fantastic!! Treated myself to some new make up and a few other things.

Drove home and bought a yummy sausage and mushroom sandwich, settled down with that, a coffee and ER.

I feel............ happy! :)
Seeing the girls tonight for a curry too.

Wonder if I could do some sewing now.... lets have a look..hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... ;)

xxxx

Thursday 15 September 2011

253. Autumn's in the air and I love it

There's a chill in the air today. Feels beautiful. The sun is shining in through the window onto my body.
Soon the leaves will be changing and falling. I hope to go for a walk and to kick the leaves. Take photos of the sun rays touching nature.
Tidying the garden and planting daffodils, crocus', alliums, tulips - all ready to surprise us in the spring.

I feel lucky to appreciate nature and see it changing.

252. Lymphoma Awareness!!!!




Please share my blog with anyone and everyone.

251. Oramorph week!

I started taking Oramorph on Tuesday and it has significantly helped! I have also been sleeping a massive amount compared to any other time in the whole time I have been having chemo. It helps pass the time through the day and when I wake up between sleeps I feel rested and that my body has benefitted from sleep. I am pleased. The oramorph is doing it's job and helping me to get sleep.
I am taking paracetamol as a baseline painkiller. As advised by Pat, Macmillan Nurse.
She came to visit me yesterday. It was good to see her and know I am doing ok. It wasn't until I started to speak and answer her questions that I realised I am doing well this time round. Coping, remembering to take everything - like movicol!! And also coping emotionally.

I've woken up this morning with a sore throat and my arms are nerve tingling like my legs did a couple of chemo's ago.. actually the last chemo as well.
Going to have a yummy breakfast and take some oramorph. Then sleep! Again. I sound like a broken record, but it's proved to be the best way to cope so far.

The chemo taste in my mouth is not going away quick this time! It's sooooooooooo disgusting! I am constantly chewing gum and drinking water.
I can't enjoy a coffee yet this time round.

In between sleep I've been watching/dozing to ER, Coach Trip, Big Brother, Britain's Next Top Model.

I am really wanting to use my new sewing machine, as I have a present I am halfway through making and am eager to finish it! Waiting until I feel ok to do it though.
Me and Mum came across an amazing sewing book last week and it arrived yesterday. We must have sounded so funny last night looking through it together. 'ooooooooooh look at that.' 'ahhhhhh thats nice'. haha.


Zip Slide is looming!!!!!!! How exciting!
Really looking forward to seeing people there! I will be at Xscape, Castleford at 10.30 - 10.45am. I am going for registration at 11.15am to get harnessed up! See you there! All welcome! xxxx

Monday 12 September 2011

250. Roz Barnwell - Cancer Awareness -please watch :)

Roz is a very special lady whom I have been very lucky to chat to and have support from whilst undergoing my chemo. She has had HL just like me.
One brave, honest, special lady.

This is being broadcast tonight on Central Regional News.
Please watch and share - to create awareness of Lymphoma.
Many thanks

http://www.itv.com/central-west/

Sunday 11 September 2011

249. No sleep, cat sick, cat poo. nice.

Had a lovely night at mum and dad's watching X factor and eating a yummy tea.
I took my dex (steroid) and think it was a bit late, it seems to keep my awake! So even though I was laid in bed ,tired, I couldn't sleep at all. My legs didn't feel like my own and kept jolting. I gave up and got up. I laid on the sofa and hoped a change of scene would help. 11, 12, 1, 2.. still awake.
Then Ziggy started being sick and dashing to the litter tray. JOY!
3am, 4am.. still awake.
I slept from 5am til 7am, whilst listening to Matt Forde. Then some comedy on Radio 4 Extra, really funny show with Ian Hislop - I've never seen Star Wars.

So today, I have been snoozing and snoozing!
Caught the last hour of Big Fish (Ewan McGregor) and cried my eyes out. Love that film. Have it on DVD and never fancy watching it. But a big cry was just what I needed.

Ear pain has started this afternoon, so am on Cocodamol along with plenty of Movicol!!!

Hoping to see lovely Miss Lumley tomoz, fingers crossed..
x

Friday 9 September 2011

248. Lucky

I am a lucky Liz.
 I was greeted by a Fed Ex delivery man this morning and this is what he had in his arms....




There was no outer packaging so I could see exactly what it was from the bottom of the garden path! I was jumping up and down!

Beaut!


It was a total surprise gift from Mum and Dad!
 Everything I have been making up until now has been hand sewn, unless I have gone down to use Mum's machine. This is very similar to hers. So simple and easy to use. So I can set it all up now and go shopping for an unpicker and some extra feet! Wa hoo. Means that I can finish my current gift that is a surprise for someone, with ease, in my own home. I will also be able to make cushions, curtains, my new headboard for my bed. OH so exciting.


Thank you Mum and Dad, Love you to bits.

Very lucky xx

247. Bradford Cancer Support through Facebook

I know a lot of you have clicked 'Like' on the Cancer support facebook page. But - I am urging and asking if you haven't please could you go to this link
https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=215856841796815#!/bradfordcancersupport

and when you get to the actual page from this link - click 'like'.
I am requesting this to create an awareness of the charity and all the amazing work they do.
Shut me up and go click it if you haven't already! Please please please xxx
Thank you!!!!!! xxxx

Ooodles of love xx

246. More Sponsors!!!!!!

Thank you Ayo and Ellen! Love you to bits xxxx
Amount raised so far £560!

245. The day I met Sarah! Hurray!

I met Sarah Firth today, from Cancer Support. Sarah is doing the zip slide also. She came over to see me to drop off my tshirt for the event. Oooooooh! There's ten of us doing it for Cancer Support and other charities also taking part, so should be a great day event.
It was lovely to finally meet Sarah!  We regularly Facebook each other but it's amazing to meet and get to know each other. She is wonderful, so friendly, understanding and kind! I already knew from chatting to her that she was, but in person it's just so much better!
I made her a coffee and we had a lovely chat. Getting excited about the zip now... I have the t shirt ! eeee!
Sarah says there will be someone filming the event and it will go on YouTube for all to see!

244. Random photos

I made Pam's cat Rosie, her own little cat nip toy!

Bellis in my watering can already flowering...!

Took a photo of this, it looked weird!