This session felt really tough going for some reason. Think it was the start, Sally couldn't find a good vein and lost the first one. Absolutely hurt like mad, turns my tummy - eesh.
Eventually got one further along, but really hurt and throbbing at the moment from it. Again, it just shows how my veins are completely battered.
My mum was with me, it felt really good. We were in a silly mood and Mum kept making me laugh. And we were getting some funny looks. Mum's head expanded (not literally) when she kept getting compliments for looking so young and looking way to young to be my Mum. It was nice to see her smile like that. She looks younger than her age.
Occasionally waves of sickness would rush over me, especially towards the end of the session. The nurses were so busy and I struggled to get their attention as they had so much to manage. I was there from 1pm and didnt leave til just before 5. The extra 2 hours felt like a life time. I felt trapped, clostrophobic and sick. The moment I got outside I just felt heaps better.
I flopped on the sofa and just felt nauseaus and my hand was throbbing. I took a strong anti sickness which kicked in really quickly.
I slept after tea, I tried to keep my eyes open for a dvd we'd put on but my body was just shattered and my eyes kept closing. I had to give in. I slept again when I got to bed but the steroids kept me awake from 3am and I just got up. Watched my normal trashy tv that i record - easy watching when I feel crap.
Had a great day today though, got cleaning done and some washing. Then bought some material, clothes for my new sewing project, I slept for an hour this afternoon until Anthony came home.
He's going to London again next week. But will be home to come to my LAST chemo with me. Wow....... cant believe it....LAST chemo. Jenny was really thoughtful and asked if she could arrange a meal for us all to celebrate my last chemo, how sweet... really felt special and am looking forward to enjoying time with them all xx
Been for a carvery this evening and Anthony was gorgeous, had loads to tell me and we chatted like old times, it felt really nice. Makes you remember why you're with someone when you go out for a meal and get talking like that. Being apart will be hard next week, esp on my bad week. But I have oramroph to take again and I can just sleep through the day. Mum and Dad will come spend some time with me and I can go down there. Pat the Macmillan nurse wil come see me too to check I am ok.
It'll be great when Anthony comes home again.
We've been talking alot about our future today.. like what we want to do and when. It's exciting, we dont know if we'll get married first or have a baby first..both are such expensive things... but time will tell and we know that for the meantime we just want to get through this part of our lives and enjoy being in our house and together before we do anything big, there's not tearing great rush as we know we want each other and both want to same things. We want some time alone on holiday, next year when I am into recovery. Not had a proper holiday since 2006. And then to do bits to the house when I am earning again. We havent been able to do anything apart from give the kitchen a lick of paint and tart it up a bit, but that was just enough and we love what we've done on such little cost! We're so happy here. We love it to bits. (And having our cat, Zig) Putting your stamp on somewhere just gives you that belonging feeling I guess...
*content sigh* life goes on xxx
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