108. My body and how it's coping...

I have been focusing on creativity and things lately so I thought I would just add an entry on me and my body and how things are going.

Hair loss is still happening, but as it's now like a millimeter long on my head! Anthony shaved it again for me, as it was getting fuzzy and had grown wierd in places. So now I have just little specks of hair on the pillow compared to 8 or 9 inches and handfuls of hair everywhere! I am not affected by it now. I have accepted the hair loss and my shaved head!
I still have my eye lashes and eye brows. My eye brows are not growing back - so it's quite nice to not have the hassel of plucking!

I am struggling with a sore mouth at the moment, big crater like ulcers which take a while to shift. Also my gums are swollen around my teeth at the back and I have ulcers down the sides of my teeth at the back. Anthony has been laughing at me for talking wierd and every so often dribbling uncontrollably. Heeehee.. I'm glad it's not all so serious!

Hmm what else, thinking......

Ah, the steroids. Yeah. They are in full force now and do make me really hungry. Last week there was no stopping me. Nightmare. And it makes me so concious of putting weight on. But I chatted to my Macmillan nurse Helen last week and she really helped me gain perspective. I have to focus on this for now and when I am all clear I can focus on the weight loss and toning up. I am being careful what I choose to eat, but the lack of cardio and weights shows on my body. But hey. It's not everything. It does make me sad but I can't dwell on it. I am trying to do little bits when I do feel well, the Wii and stretching and I am going to do some Yoga next week too! Exciting and good for relaxation as well as exercise. Will keep you posted.

The steroids have given me a typical chubby face too. Tut. Annoying! So am a bit concious of that, but again, it will go at the end of all the treatment. Can't wait, it's gonna be like a blossoming of the new liz, all well and better and new.

Trying to stay positive, but I do have my frustrated, fed up and pee'd off days with it. I look in the mirror and it's not the liz I am used to seeing.
That can be hard. I have accepted the hair loss, but not entirely who I see in the mirror. I see photos of myself and think, who is that? A totally different person with different worries and a different life. I know it's not but that's how it feels at a glance. I am waffling, but it's my thoughts - they're like zig zag lines all squiffy.

It's my little hang up's creeping back in to take over. But I have to remember what's important. Any words of wisdom or nudges in the arm would be gratefully received...

I have my blood test in the morning to check my levels and then Chemo 4 on Thursday at 12pm. A later appt which means I will be there til later, oh joy!
Excited as we have some special visitors coming to see us tomoz night.. :) can't wait. Hope to get some photos of us all together x

Gonna go now, my eyes have been shutting for the last hour or so and I really need my bed.
Relaxation cd here I come!

Bye for now, been nice to have a proper catch up... :)

Please...messages to keep me going, are always welcome, if you have been reading and haven't messaged me, please do it. It'd be great to hear from you whether you are someone that knows me or not, I love to meet new people xxx