Still drying my eyes.. what an amazing film The Lovely Bones is...
Loved the acting, the way it was shot and most of all the music by one of my favourites Brian Eno.
Sussed it straight away and after a visit to imdb.com that confirmed it for me :) Yay..
I love his track 'An Ending' - used a lot on trailers for documentaries like 9/11 Falling Man on channel 4.
These 2 tracks are just beautiful.... I want to try and buy the soundtrack now! Just read online, I can't! An acutal soundtrack doesnt actually exist! So will need to find the tracks individually. Sure I can manage - I have some free time (!??!)
Anyone who knows me well, knows this is what i am like with films and music :)
Stanley Tucci's performance was chilling and his acting had me on the edge of my seat.
I've been told that the book is amazing, so maybe I will try and have a go - I'm not the most patient reader and get bored easily. It's really got to grab my attention! Or I will read the first page and not take it in and then either fall asleep or just put it down.
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I went to Bradford Cancer Support today. It was lovely to see Caroline and quickly chat to her. I had an appointment for some counselling. I had enquired about it after I had some sad and angry feelings around the halfway mark. Since enquiring things have been very up, down, up, down with my emotions, coping and physically.
But as you can probably tell at the moment I am on a big up and things are going well. I seem to be coping a bit better and am well distracted with things to do, special people in my life and am happier. So when I was on my way to counselling today I was thinking to myself. Do I still need to go?! What am I going to say in there? I decided to still go and see what they said and what I might be able to gain.
I have had some experience of counselling before and am familiar with talking things out in a small room face to face with a stranger. I have accessed Coginitive Behavioural Therapy which the counsellor today explained as being directive therapy/treatment. The counselling that CBS offer is non-directive and it works very much from the counsellee's perspective and thoughts. Talking it out and the counsellor listens.
I signed a contract which makes it sound so official, but it's basically to cover all the boundaries and guidelines. Covering things like confidentiality, cancelling appointments etc. I felt very at ease and comfortable with this. It made things clear but not in an official way that felt threatening.
Once this was done it was over to me!! At first I sat there and just thought. Well , what the flipping heck am I gonna talk about!? I feel ok! I found a way to start and once I did, the thoughts and words just flowed. It was interesting how I went off on tangents and how much ground I covered in such a small amount of time.
I left feeling good about myself, proud even. The session had been a positive one and had given me time to reflect on my progress and how I have come though so much in my treatment. I don't think I realised that until today. Telling a total stranger your thoughts and feelings can be a scary thought, but actually it's a good thing. They don't know anything about you unless you tell them and they just listen and help you think. If you get stuck they ask questions to prompt you and help you talk some more. My thought patterns changed as I was talking and it was very powerful how this worked with my mind set. I was very pleased with the session and will be returning again soon for another session.
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So I am feeling really good today and yesterday. Quite close to my normal self, give or take a few things like blocked ears and an annoying cough that has developed? Weird. It feels like the back end of a cold. So my hearing is really sensitive and I have been a bit irritable with it this evening.
Bought some gorgeous tealight holders to hang on my fencing. Just been outside to light them. They look so so cute, candlelight flickering.... Also got some wicker hearts and hung those up. It's looking lovely out there. Dad got some stones off the beach in Norfolk and they look great in the border next to the fence. I had painted some before, but these ones are naturally white and look fab. All I need now is the skip to arrive and we can get clearing the crap out of the garden to make more room for me to potter about! Woo! Pics to follow!
I can hear the bath water running... wonder if it's for me?
Night night xxx
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