Been away from the laptop since Thursday. Just accessed updates from my phone and have made another friend through this blog, whose family member is also accessing Bradford Cancer Support. Am looking forward to chatting to them at a later stage when they are ready. :)
After Anthony working such a lot on site, it was really nice to get some time together on Saturday. Tesco.com arrived in the afternoon and after a yummy tea, we decided to go grab some dvd's from Blockbusters and lots of treats. We watched The Adjustment Bereau. Really enjoyed it; Matt Damon and Emily Blunt. All based on life choices, who you meet and how things can change.
Sunday was really good. Everything felt so normal - like it used to. We went to White Rose Shopping Centre in Leeds and Anthony bought some jeans and basic stuff. I walked about feeling ok and got the occassional stare through the crowds. I should be used to it by now, you would have thought. But every so often I do get a longer stare that isn't just a look, it's an inquisitive what's happening there then look. I don't mind, I just smile. Some smile back, others look away like they've just been caught and are in trouble.
I have been feeling pretty good with my body these last few days. My swelling in my face and eyes goes as soon as the new batch of chemo goes into my body. My tummy is still large from the steroids, but the big, fat feeling seems to have subsided for the meantime. I am still trying to drink plenty of water and eat plenty of fruit.
When we were walking about the shops, there came the in evitable. The mirrors. I looked and noticed the change in my body. How these jeans look, how my hair is totally thinned out now. But I didn't let it affect me. As you know from reading -- a couple of months ago this would have really upset me and hurt.
Being out in public and seeing yourself in a full length mirror and being around other people who you think are watching actually aren't. They're so busy going about their daily lives and dealing with their own worries and hang ups, what do they know. Just keep smiling.
I have plenty of things pencilied in for this week. It's hard to get a balance sometimes, but this week I am trying this method and hoping I can acheive most of them with rest in between. I just need to take care of my body and enjoy the good days.
Really missing Jenny!!!! She's been unwell with a nasty chest infection and due to my lower immune, it's made it so I can't go see her! Been texting and chatting on the phone, but there's nothing like a proper hug and a Jenny coffee. Looking at the end of the week 'til I see her I think.
I have been watching 24 Hours in A&E on channel 4, set at Kings College Hospital in London. I've been recording it on Sky+ and watching it through the week. Seen them all so far. I love it. Which is odd, you'd think I would have been seeing enough with hospitals. But I love to see the staff on there and how they cope, manage situations. It's fascinating. So admirable. Such dedication from staff. Especially with the volume of patients and the problems that they attend with.
I did some more canvas' last week! One for Hayley and 3 for Bruce in Canada. I am feeling really proud and happy to have my buzz back with making them. I'd had a set back with making them and with my art work this can happen a lot depending on my mood and physical state. My new table (Dave) from Ikea is really good to work on and has helped a lot with the physical workings of making my canvas'. I can sit really comfortably on the sofa and still work up to a surface to paint and draw.
I will add photos soon :)
Going to get ready to go see Rebecca now - for a coffee and catch up. Then will need a little nap before seeing Mum tonight for a bit of retail therapy at M+S.
Comments and messages always welcome xxx Hope to hear from you soon xx
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