Hopefully Chemo 8 tomorrow.
Just got back from hospital - I have never walked so slowly down that corridor. It's such a long corridor. I didn't want to go in.
The nurses were all smiley, busy, but not too busy to just treat me as another number. Hi Liz, come in take a seat. Sadia's really good, she's always got a gentle touch and I seem to always react well to when she takes my blood or gives me chemo.
Not sure what happened today, think I was just thinking about it way too much. The extra time away gives me time to worry and think about it; another reason why it's annoying when chemo is delayed. Your body starts to get used to being without it and then, bam - you have to go back and it's like, OH, this again.
She couldn't find a vein in my left arm and that always unsettles me! She moved onto my right arm. Found one. Something can't have been right because she went quiet, then asked me to pump my hand. Not much blood was coming out she said. I went all faint and she raised my legs via the chair. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. I felt like I'd gone right back to the beginning. Diane came over and joked with me and Sadia, what's she done to you! I was laughing and said I couldn't be that bad if I was laughing. They agreed and laughed with me.
I think it was just me mulling it over and dreading chemo tomorrow. Will it have a different worse effect from having that extra week off. Uh, trying not to think about it.
It's beautiful out there today, going to be really hot!
Not sure what I am going to do today - need to decide and see how I feel...
My face is less swollen today and my body doesn't feel as heavy or bulky. I've put my make up on - which always makes me feel better. So glad I went to that LGFB session. That bag of goodies and 2 hours learning techniques really made a difference to me.
Mum bought me some gorgeous flowers at the weekend, some gladioli and agapanthus. The gladioli is all flowering now. Stunning. On my windowsill I have those, the pink flowers from Catherine, I should have read on the cellophane what they are, and my orchid that Gaynor got me at the beginning when I got diagnosed (which is still going strong!!!) they all look so pretty together. I will try get a photo.
There goes that Airwick thing again. My heart just lept. Gonna turn it off for a bit! Argh!
speak soon x
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