Phew. I am exhausted!
Every little tiny thing is tiring. Dressing myself, showering, just getting about the house, I am out of breath and stumbling into things. Much to Anthony's amusement! I have to laugh too...! Aw let me tell you this... Yesterday morning we'd had breakfast in bed, I forgot about the plates on the tray that I'd moved to the floor (my memory for things like this is not good) as I stepped across the room, didnt even bother to look where I was going and I half stepped onto the plate, realised - not wanting to damage them I over compensated and dodged as much as I could so as not to put my full weight on them and then walked into the bedroom door, I am giggling away as type! I nearly squashed Zig! Anthony just creased up laughing and shook his head. Then I couldnt stop laughing. So clumsy. Chemo does crazy things to your body.
The amount of drinks I have knocked over in the last 8 months. AND Jenny was laughing about this the other day - EVERY time I get a Costa to take out, I spill it! I might as well ask for half a cup when I go in!
I had chemo 11 in my left hand and even now it is still bruised, battered and swollen. My vein going down my wrist is soooo tender, it's unbelievable how much pain it gives me if I catch it - and I do BECAUSE I am so clumsy! hah!
Chemo 12 was therefore put in my right hand but that's not reacted as badly this time, I think because the nurse got a really good vein.
My legs and arms are doing the nerve aches again, at the same time in the week as after other chemo's. It really is like when you get stretchy legs on a plane or in the car, but with a dull ache of really bad flu. It's a heavy feeling that just lingers and at it's worst I am writhing about in pain. Oramorph helps a lot.
My circulation isn't what it used to be and I get really cold feet now. Wonder if that will improve?
My eyes have still got the chemo dark circle look. Panda eyes, effectively. The skin looks stained dark. This does go - but this time it's lingering longer, maybe just all the build up after so many sessions.
My stomach is still really swollen and when it's playing up on top of being swollen, I look pregnant. It's really uncomfortable. But this also will subside, as it has done in previous weeks ready for when I go for the next session.
This time round, the last time, things just seem to be dragging so much! Everyone is bopping about excited for me, which is so lovely, it really is, but things aren't at that level for me JUST yet. It's about patience, I know. Normally I am pretty patient, but with this, it's been the hardest thing ever, and I just want my body back and it to not be as battered and bruised. All over there is evidence.
When I can feel things lifting I will be bopping and not so 'meh' about it.
Aw yeah, cold sores!! I have never been one to suffer - but oh my word, have I got the most painful one on my lip, right in the middle. OW! I know how painful they can be now. Never had a clue before. At the weekend it was really swollen and sore. It seems to be easing now, with various creams and things I have. Most people know me to have a Mary Poppins bag and I always have some sort of remedy for any problem..! Liz'll have somet!
It's a relief to have Anthony home. He's back in the factory at work, not London. We had such a good weekend together. Being at home, in the garden and just time together doing nothing!!
Last night we put Flight of the Navigator on, again, and just sat taking the mick and laughing at classic bits and being us. Love that film and the soundtrack (when don't I love soundtracks?)
We went down to Jenny's first thing on Saturday morning to see Lola open her birthday presents. Seeing her face as she opened each one was really special. She was so cute and funny, she knew one of her presents was a chair before she even ripped open the wrapping paper! There was no way of knowing by the way it was wrapped... so clever! It was a special, family morning all together, felt just like Christmas! And Lola liked the homemade presents we gave her too! :)
I now have 2 orders from Jen's mum for the name board like Lola's so that will keep me busy and smiley in the next few weeks.
Anthony has a new car, a Vectra. It's great. A lot cheaper to run, on parts, diesel, insurance and tax. He was sorry to see his pride and joy 306 go, had some great times going to car shows and road trips together, but as Anthony had said when he decided, it had to go... :(
It was getting silly money and especially at the moment, with money being tight, it was the right time to sell it. It's really comfy inside and luxurious :) Happy!
Well... I think that's generally the update for now. I am going to have a coffee now - HEY! THAT'S IT! I CAN ENJOY COFFEE NOW, NO MORE CHEMO TASTE IN MY MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's a positive! xxxx
much love xx
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