300. Final Chemo...not as straight forward?!

The final countdown was on.

After a beautiful morning Anthony took me to hospital for the final time for chemo. Chemo 12 out of 12. It was a 1pm appointment. It felt strange knowing this was it. Physically I felt good, the last two times I felt sick before I even got there and during the session too. But for this one, I felt soothed, eased, whethe it was Anthony's presense, the Rose Quartz crystal from Becky or just the strength I had built up over the past week from resting, I don't know. It just felt soo good to not feel so weak.

 The day unit was reasonably busy, with a few easy chairs free I picked the really comfy roomy one. I felt ready for battle. Anthony was having a laugh with the nurses and was keeping me relaxed.
Stacey came to do my obs - blood pressure, temperature. I had a bit of a wait before the drugs were administered. The nurse came over to find a vein. As usual I had to heat up my hand, so the veins would protrude and be more easy to access. My veins have given up these last few times - really showing that my body has been battered and has given up. My hands have been swelling each time, pretty badly and accidentally catching them in bed, generally around the house etc has been really painful.
I heated my hand up a bit much from the warm water! I had a bit of a red line across my wrist. Think I must have just been determind to get this chemo going!
She found a vein straight away pretty much. It stabbed and proddled and only hurt a bit. The saline started, the anti sickness and then the big boy drugs. The final bag was hung up to the drip stand. The flow of the drip was nice and speedy and we both commented on how good it was.
1 hour passed. Anthony checked my cannula. His face dropped. He looked at the top of the drip stand. 'Liz, where is the yellow tube running to hun? Why isnt it in the cannula?' I looked at him as if he was joking. Then i quickly realised he wasn't!!
I ran my other hand to the drip line... the yellow tube. I lifted it and there it was, dripping ok. But all over the floor...... there was a pool of Dacarbazine near my bag and under my chair. I raised the alarm and the nurse came running back. Her face was of concern at first.. worrying I had had a bad reaction, but confused also. Then she saw the tube hanging from my hand and dripping everywhere.
Mortified. I really felt for her.
Somehow my emotions continued to be ok. I was still relaxed, even though the consequences were'nt great and outlook of the time we would be there had just increased by a lot!
I kept a smile on my face and Anthony did too. We just bounced good feelings off each other and kept saying how we'd just be there longer but it was the last one.... keep thinking it. Last one.
The nurse was really annoyed with herself, but I didn't want to make her feel worse, I kept talking to her and smiling. She apologised prefusely.
The drug had to be reordered. It took about 30 mins to half an hour. Then it had to be connected and I had to wait for it go to through my system with the water. Surprisingly.. it hardly took no time at all. 1hr 30. Normally takes 3 hours??? I don't know, maybe my guardian angel was watching over me. Maybe the vibes from all my family and friends... Maybe the fact I hadnt got in a state about it? My body was still relaxed which meant it reacted better and the drip would go at a nice steady pace.
Anthony kept smiling and keeping me going. He went to buy me my favourite treat whilst on chemo, an ice lolly, soothed my sore mouth and ulcers, which were still in full force and creating a lot of pain!
We chatted a bit and then I snoozed on and off.
Soon enough the drug bag had gone down and was nearly done. This last bit went on for ages and I just wanted it to hurry up so I could escape! The nurse came to finally put the flush on - which means is the saline flushing out the veins so the chemo doesnt just sit there in the veins. This bit didn't take long at all either...
That was it. The cannula was taken out. My bag of tablets ready to take home. I smiled at Sally. She was so lovely. She gave me a huge hug and wished me well.
That was it!!! I say it again... hehe..
We walked out, I was so out of breath... I wanted to run! If not walk fast!! But I had to practically take fairy steps. Anthony was carrying my huge mary poppins bag and drugs and I was still really out of breath and struggling. Anthony offered to get the car and drive down, but I wanted to carry on and walk to the end like normal.

We drove to our favourite place for pizzas and sat together in the car, like old times back in the day when we first got together. :)
We didn't talk about hospital or what had happened. it was like we were already moving on and being positive and just having normality and happy moments.

We got home. That was it. All done! I snoozed on the sofa and relaxed. I didn't feel sick like the last few times. I spoke to mum and dad on the phone which was lovely. I am missing them to bits. Haven't seen them for over 2 weeks as they have both been poorly with colds and flu. My dad has had a lot of time off work, so he must have been pretty bad. He always just keeps going and never stops.
Hope to see them this weekend, they've stayed away and kept me from going down to see them, they just didn't want to affect me with their germs, as it can crucially affect my body as my immune system is so low! I have been very lucky to not be hospitalised throughout my whole chemo journey, and they just couldnt bear the thought of being responsible for it at this late stage! It's been hard though especially when Anthony was in London. I had to do that whole week alone. It was so challenging.

Anthony is away again from Monday - they need him again. I feel happy for him still, it's a great opportunity. I know I can get through this last bit and my parents and friends are here to help me whenever I need them.

We pick up Anthony's new car at the end of the week, so we're excited about that. New car for a new start. He's had his 306 GTi6 for 4 years and we've been to some great places in it and good memories. Seeing it go was sad, but we needed something cheaper to run on insurance, tax and fuel. It's a bigger car with more room and it's a 4 door, so we can easily have passengers without crushing into the back and putting the seat forward. It's a move forward for us. We're excited to get it.
Then it's Jenny's little girl Lola's birthday on Saturday! She's 2! Jenny and Chris have been preparing lovely things for her and are so excited. It's so wonderful to see them all so happy together. Anthony is so happy too, for his Bro. They seem so much closer and happier. On the phone lots more and just overall much better. Life is sweet all round and we can't wait to get me recovering so we can plan regular things together and not just 'see how Liz feels' all the time.
So much to look forward to!

So everyone. A new chapter now. Recovery!
Here I come!