298. True Friendship

I woke up on the last chemo day. I felt relaxed... at ease... I had a wonderful radox soak in the bath and Anthony made us yummy bacon butty's. It felt so great to have him there with me on the last day of it all. He gives off fantastic calming vibes and no matter what he always does his best, which is natural for him, to make me feel good about myself.
We sat in the sunshine in our living room and enjoyed our morning.

Jenny rang me early on and it was so good to hear her voice. I love our friendship, even though we havent know each other very long at all, we have just clicked. She came into my life at a crucial moment and we both bring so much strength to each others lives. It can't have been easy calling me after I was in such a crappy mood all week and not knowing what on earth i could be feeling like ringing me spur of the moment like that. A text is a text. But a phone call.. is a phone call. Makes all the difference, you know??  Each day is a new day and thats how it felt when she spoke to me. She had all the right words and I could feel her real sense of care in her voice. Love her to bits.
I came off the phone all goosebumpy and just beaming with a big smile on my face. Friendship. Give and take. Understanding. Forgiveness. Communication. Listening. Loyalty. Sense of humour. Understanding. Not giving up on you. Being there when times get tough even though you have your own problems and hang ups in life.

 I know who my real friends are through this. It's taken me a long, long, time to learn how to deal with loss of certain people and at one point in my life loss of a friend was a contribution to a period of depression and stress, I had many other stresses I had at the time. And then a friend who I confided in upped and left me. It was an awful time, I punished myself for being over bearing and too much. But at the end of the day that was how I was dealing with the loss of a best friend and if that person couldn't deal with it then that's really sad. But life goes on. Coping through this I have been much stronger because I have had the right people around me and pulled on their strength and love.
But that's in the past. I don't hold grudges. I move on. The space in my life left has been filled. I have moved on. I am a totally different person now after everything that has happened with Hodgkin's Lymphoma.