At the moment....
I wear comfies all the time and feel like a slob. I can't wait for the day when I can go and buy a pair of beautiful jeans in the size I am happy with and a pair of boots or sexy shoes and wear them with pride and feel amazing.
I want to feel great in my own skin. To wear that black swimming costume to the pool and be proud of the body I had before this happened. I wasn't proud before. I should have been. This experience has taught me so much. I am me.
I have a cold wet chemo tongue in my head that brings an awful taste to my mouth. One which you wouldn't believe affects how you feel generally! Everything makes me burp and feel icky. The skin on my bones hurts to touch. My forehead, cheeks, jaw, neck, shoulders. It's the last time I will feel like this. These side effects have arrived later this time and have almost tricked me into thinking they wouldn't happen. So tonight I am peeved.
I have no idea what all the answers are to my recovery. I don't know how long it will take. How long it will take me to improve. When they will scan me, if they will scan me - they might not because I was told my results were clear halfway through. I know I really want a scan so I can move on. Oct 17th I have a clinic appt to find out more information from my consultant.
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Just had a lovely chat with Anthony. He's having a busy time working in London.
Always feel better for chatting to him. Love him to bits. xx
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