Hayley, Sarah, Me, Caroline
Remember my zip slide for Bradford & Airedale Cancer Support in September?
Raising money for it gave me and my family a focus during Chemo and the zip slide itself was such a wondeful experience. As well as the zip, I have been supported by the charity through the alternative therapies they offer.
Hayley, (pictured above) is the Corporate Fundraiser for the charity asked me if I would speak at the Women with Vision network meeting to share my story and explain how the charity has helped me and made a difference to my journey. I had no doubts and accepted the invitation.
It didn't take me long to write my thoughts, feelings and story down and I knew I wanted to keep it simple and just speak from the heart. No fancy slides or handouts from me, this was real life and I just felt speaking would be enough. I spent the wednesday afternoon writing in the local library and I really enjoyed being out in the 'real world' instead of in the 4 walls I have been stuck in during my treatment.
The day of the meeting came round so quickly!
I felt nervous before I got to the centre, once I was in there, with a coffee in hand and delicious cranberry and cinnamon scone smiling at me, I felt relaxed and happy to be part of something special. Laid back in a comfy chair! Looked like a real lady of leisure I'm sure of it, haha..
There was a lovely meal to look forward to and a chance to get to know the women at the meeting and find out more about their line of business. Everyone who entered the centre came in with a smile and were so friendly. I had a lovely hand massage too!
Soon we went in to the meeting room for some delicous food, provided by a stunning outside caterer, (who I'd love to use one day!)
Here's a link to the photos of the evening. http://www.flickr.com/photos/bradfordcancersupport/sets/72157628007842077/
After enjoying the food and having giggles with Sarah and Caroline, I felt even more relaxed and at ease. There were two other ladies presenting to the group and I had opted to go last - wanting to give myself time and also because I was new, to understand the tone of the meeting and get a feel for it.
At this point, I'd like to mention something which I have been meaning to. Something which I feel some people need to understand....
I feel that when you have been having chemo and been stuck in your bubble of illness, hospitals, injections, emotional dives, thinking the same thoughts, talking the same talk for so long and feeling lost...venturing into the real world again is a big thing. Sights, sounds and feelings are more amplified and it's like being released into the wild! I sometimes find myself completely exhausted at just having a conversation and my muscles in my body are learning how to be used again - after so long of learning how to rest - they are being asked by your brain to get up, go and be normal. NOW!
(Real world meaning meeting with friends, going to the supermarket, post office - Basically the things which most of us do every week or day and take for granted that we can do)
Doing those normal, everyday things is a privilege. We are alive.
Ok, back to the speaking at the meeting..
Bearing all this in mind - I asked to do the talk from my seat around the table, the other ladies talking had stood up for theirs, but physically I knew I would struggle to stand, my body was so tired. 6 weeks post chemo. I kept drinking water. My brain was telling me and my feelings to keep going.
I feel so passionately about the charity and help they provide. This is why I was here.
I felt confident and happy, the words came out easier than I thought they would and the faces all around the table looked back at me as I went right back to a year ago when I found the lump in my neck. As I talked I could feel my emotions taking over. I had to look down and compose myself. Fought back the tears and took a deep breath. It was ok, I could carry on, I didn't let them override. I explained how I had first found the charity after my first PET scan, how I had experienced wonderful therapies and how they had helped me so much in my early stages of my chemo. How I had felt like I mattered, not just another number or another cancer patient.
I really enjoyed myself. I got a nice round of applause and some lovely feedback from the ladies. It felt amazing to have done such a thing. It was cathartic for me. Just like my blog is. So pleased I did it.
What a fab experience and a great memory :)
Thanks Hayley, Sarah, Caroline and all of the staff at Bradford & Airedale Cancer Support! x
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