7. Sleepy saturday..

It's Saturday. But it doesn't feel like it really. At the moment days dont have feelings like they usually do. Guess I have to get used to it for a while.


Woke up at half 5, early again, couldnt get back to sleep. Even though my eyes were closing, when they were closed, I couldnt fall asleep. Then got a headache. Grr.
For that reason I am a bit grouchy today. More so now than this morning. As the day goes on I am more sleepy.
Trying hard to be smiley but struggling.


Something beautiful happened this morning though. After we got back from doing some food shopping, Katie next door was holding a big bouquet of flowers, stunning ones. I was like, awww look. And joked about them being for me. I stuck my head out of the car and told Katie how nice they were, thinking she was waiting to get inside to give them to her Mum for Mother's Day or get in the car to take them somewhere. She told me that she'd seen someone standing at our door knocking, trying to deliver them. 'So I came out and took 'em in for ya...'
She's so sweet. I was gob smacked. They are stunning- such lovely colours. I will add a photo but I really don't think the photo does them justice. I opened the little envelope..


'To Our Dear Friend Liz,
from all your special friends at Thorner School...'


How wonderful is that?
Thorner CE is one of my outreach schools that I have worked in regularly for the past few years. It is such a gorgeous school. I felt really special placing all the stems into the vase.


I have those flowers and the ones from Sophie all on the window sill, all the colour is lush.


We went to see Mum and Dad. Their house looks amazing, they have nearly finished everything. All the decorating looks beautiful and they have CARPETS and FLOORING. haha, they have had bare floorboards since they moved in. It really does look fab. New sofas all waiting to be unpacked too.
Mum had some gardening stuff for me and a lovely plant from Grandma that I need to put into our back garden. Prob get green fingers going on Tuesday if the weather is nice.


It was really warm in the lounge at Mum and Dad's. The sun was beaming through the french doors and I felt so sleepy, think that's what set me off. I could feel myself sinking into the sofa. Leeds Utd were on the tv which was great. They were winning last time I looked.


Driving back from Otley to Guiseley there were so many gorgeous Spring sights. Loads of daffodils and little lambs. Anthony stopped so I could get some photos.
 We bobbed in to see Anthony's Grandma. She had some snowdrops for me in a tub and some empty tubs. It felt like Christmas all these little gifts. Anthony's Grandma advised me to take one day at a time and not look too far into the future with the treatment. I thought this was really good advice. I gave her a big hug before I left. She's wonderful.


Now I am on the sofa at home. Anthony's fitting some bulbs to his car and tinkering about. I love living with him. We can potter about doing our own little things and come back together for a brew, chat and then carry on. It's really nice.


The sky is blue and has thin strips of white cloud going across. Wonder where that plane is going..


Chris is coming over tonight. We're going to watch Slumdog Millionaire. Not seen it for a while. Love that film so much. We all saw it in the cinema together and it was a great day.
I saw it twice I loved it that much! Anthony and me were being daft in the car listening to the soundtrack earlier. I am sure he will appreciate me sharing this with you. He he he!
One of our many giddy-silly moments.


I have loads of things I want to do; like bake some banana loaves, make some cards, paint my canvas, write to friends I havent done for a while.  But you know what, I just cant be bothered. I don't know why, well I do. But it's not me at all.
I said to Dad, I think I am emotionally drained. He agreed. Said I need to take it easy and don't do too much. I am rubbish at that. I need to learn - some of you are probably thinking?


I randomly started chatting about my worries to Anthony this morning. I keep blurting things out. Questions, what if's.
He listens and answers me in his supportive way he does. Always honest and says it how it is, but in a way I can understand.


I worry about losing my hair. I have such a lot of it though, it's really thick. I wonder if that means it will just thin out or will I lose it all. There's no way of knowing until it happens and I can't control it.


I feel really crap about myself today, maybe it is because I am tired. Maybe a power nap is in order.... :)
Speak soon xx