I decided when I woke up this morning to get myself to the doctors and get checked before the weekend. I had been so frustrated yesterday at the hospital.
Our doctors surgery is a walk in clinic from 8am. I took something to eat and drink with me in my bag and some ibuprofen and paracetamol. I arrived at the surgery, parked up and found about 8 - 9 people queuing at the door. Uh. Could be here some time. I got out of the car. It always makes me chuckle to myself when I go there. You get out of the car or walk up the path and it's like everyone there in the queue is compelled to stare at you! Doesn't matter who you are, what you look like, it's simply the boredom of standing there. I always giggle to myself.
Sure enough I as I got out of the car, everyone looked up turned and stared for a moment, before putting their heads back down to their phones, books or whatever.
As I took my place in the line, I was thinking about what I was there for and what I was going to say to the doctor. How to word it, what to say. Sounds silly doesn't it... you'd think when daily life has turned to tablets, symptoms, side effects and stuff, that I would be able to word things normally like any thing else. It's like a bogged down, in a rut feeling. It can be exhausting explaining things alllllll the time.
It didn't seem to take long for 8am to arrive and soon enough someone came and opened the door and let everyone in. A rush of people moving forward, I felt so slow compared to everyone else. I felt really weak.
I wanted to see my usual doctor, but there would be a long waiting time and I couldn't face sitting there for the length of time it would take to get to my turn. So I decided to see the next available one.
The doctor that I saw, thankfully, was really good. I explained about the migrane problems all this week, the tablets I'd been given, how they'd made me feel so ill with heart palps and chest pains, even now.
I also spoke about my frustrations to her and how being at the hospital yesterday had left me feeling so lost and like they didn't know what to do with me. She explained to me that a lot of the time, doctors in hospitals tend to be more focused on the illnesses of the patients they treat regularly and have less of a wider understanding on how to treat a range of problems. Just like if I went to her with something about chemo, she wouldn't be able to help me as much.
Instantly I knew that going to see her was a good thing. From just hearing this I felt like things were a bit clearer.
The doctor gave me some tablets to take daily, on a night, to stop the migranes happening. They do have side effects, like anything else, including weight gain. The doctor was really good and reminded me that the weight gain is temporary and I shouldn't let it bother me as much as I do. She talked me through the options and helped me to realise, it's better to feel well and not have migranes. I agreed and said that I need to not have the migranes, so that I can enjoy the good days. Otherwise, it's like hibernation between treatments.
I can't have a repeat of a week like this one if I have a choice of a tablet to stop it. It's nearly broken me.
I left the surgery feeling like making the effort to go up there so early, had really been worth it. I had medication to prevent the migranes, some other medication to take if I did get another attack but on top of that I had been comforted and had my mind put at ease.
My treat for being strong today, a McDonald's bacon roll and a hash brown.
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