- Hope Floats -: 155. Catch up Friday :)

Well good morning everyone!
It's been a while since I have sat down and just typed my blog, with nothing but my thoughts and the laptop.

Today I've got chemo bone aches in my shoulders, neck and lower back. Also got a sore tongue and mouth. Hmm. Pretty standard for this time in treatment. *bobs to make a coffee*

Ok so I made some little bits of toast as well. Grr, the jam I bought has reeeeeeeeally annoying seeds in it. Hmm. Not so impressed with the choosing of jam in last weeks online shop!

Did I mention the online shopping we did? Think I did briefly. We were very impressed and now converted to online shopping! Hurray! Zoe at work has been trying to get me to do it for a while, explaining the special offers and how it saves money. Never really felt the need to do it until now and I am so glad we tried it. (just not the seedy raspberry jam!) We did save money too.

I'm sat at our bedroom window and just been looking out over to the horizon. It's a cloudy morning and drizzly in between tiny bits of sun rays. We had a big storm last night! Lots of thunder and then huge hail stones!
We sat here and watched the storm together, was lovely to look out on our street - other people doing the same. We have been getting to know our new neighbours Tom and Tash - they have a little baby boy and are moving in soon. We could see them across the way in their house, looking out at the storm too. Really sweet. It'll be lovely to have a get together with them this summer. It's a lovely street with some really sweet people.

We have some annoying niggly jobs to do in the garden - that when I am well I look at and think, oh I can do that!! Going to ask Dad to come up in August and get some of the stuff cleared.

It's crazy how weak I have become though. I was out last week in the garden pulling up some weeds and long grass that had grown up, and honestly, I looked like look when I go running. Bright red cheeks and totally out of breath! Anthony took a double take at me, I am giggling just thinking about it, he didn't want to make it obvious but his face was like - woah? I stopped soon after that and had an ice lolly. haha.
Not only do I feel weak, but I feel old too. My body parts, joints, muscles and bones feel totally hammered and like it's run a load of marathons or something. All the while I am dealing with the daily life of chemo effects, weight gain, feelings, emotions, fatigue, migranes and more... my body is silently getting on with the fight.
Like it was silently dealing with the cancer for who knows how long?
That's a bizarre thought.

I need to trim my hair again - it's growing rapidly in some places and not in others. Bald patches here and there and fluff in others. Might have a go myself later! That will be interesting!

Rain is starting again. The horizon is really cloudy and rainy.
There's something about the smell in the air today. The mixture of the rain with the plants and trees or something. It takes me back to lots of different memories - to name a few.....

*being on the school field at the back of Rawdon Littlemoor, playing and making 'nests' with the cut grass.
*playing rounders and that sound of the bat hitting a 'slogger' (nothing like it)
*collecting ladybirds in open jar, easily get about 50 ladybirds back then, where did they all go - hardly see them now..
* making potions and perfume with water and rose petals and other petals/leaves
*walking home from school after a netball match and feeling proud and excited about the buzz the next day

Good times.

I made some cards this week - Monday I think it was. Felt nice because I had had so long with not making anything. My plan worked though. I had put all my art stuff away into the pantry and not seeing it everyday meant I wanted to do some. I can trick myself! haha!