I guess this really is a rollercoaster.
Had a rough couple of days. Apologies in advance for my typing/writing today. Just not with it, but want get my thoughts down.
Saturday - My Mum was coming to pick me up in the morning, which I was looking forward to. Going for coffee and catching up down at their house. I decided to get a shower and make myself feel good. It had the opposite effect. I wished I had left myself to look a state! It was like showering in hair. Everytime I looked down there was my hair falling out everywhere. Before it was annoying, but this was distressing. It really shocked me. I couldn't touch my body without feeling a hair from my head that had fallen out and down onto me. The more I stood there, the more I got angry, wanted to cry but couldn't.
I had to finish washing my hair, to get the bubbles out. But the more I did this, the more hair came out. I was stood there screwing up clumps of hair in my hands and throwing them into the bath. By the time I got out of the shower I just felt so exhausted. I went into the bedroom. Wishing I could have my little routine of pampering myself back to how it used to be. All the little things that make me feel good. But instead it was littered with hair and mess and yuk.
Anthony was planning to go out to see Brian and I just felt so guilty for being snappy and irritable, selfish about my hair. We talked and we were ok, but I still felt awful and like a bad partner.
Mum arrived. She came in and helped me tidy up, did the kitched and then the living room. Even vacced the bed for me. I had no energy and had started to feel sick again by this point. I felt so weak. Everytime I tried to help do something I was hit by a wave of sickness.
I needed to get out of this place. I had been stuck here all week and just needed a change of scene.
We arrived at Mum and Dad's in Otley. It felt so lovely.
I went straight to bed as soon as I got there and slept for an hour. I remember my Dad walking in and saying hi and then cracking a joke about coming up to plane a door in a minute. I laughed and fell back asleep.
Lunch time. After that sleep I felt so much better. The birds singing woke me up and there was a fresh smell in the air. I went on Facebook and loads of my friends had sent their well wishes to me. This helped a lot. Thank you xx
I read that my friend Danny hadn't been well the night before and he reminded me Rhino's were on tv that afternoon. Hope you're feeling better mate x
I managed to eat lunch, my sickness had gone. We watched Leeds play QPR and I was shocked we were 1 nil down in the first 30 seconds. Great result in the end though. Ha.
I felt up to making my T - Shirts now. I had got some paper to print out some images and put them onto some tops I had.
Remember Tagalong from Robin Hood? Bless. I love this bunny!
Mum helped me for about an hour to get the images right and we sat all together and made these! Check them out, not bad for a first attempt! Am very pleased. Mind your mattles.
Doing this really cheered me up.
We went back to my house to see Anthony and watch the rest of the Rhino's game. Anthony had been to see Brian and got his shockers fitted to the car. He was pleased. It was so nice to see him and have a hug.
Later on when Mum and Dad had gone, we had the best tea! Went to Morrisons and got a fresh chicken and salad and loads of picky food and treats. It was delish. Plus I had a voucher from petrol - so it only cost about £8 for all that! Yum.
Later in the evening I started to feel really spaced out. I went from feeling great to like, dozy. I felt like I wasn't here, when I looked around the room I felt small and everything felt big? My ears felt sensitive and my nose was tickling. I was getting a cold.
After watching a very brief, pretty storm outside, I went to bed. I had to, I felt odd.
All night I found it hard to sleep. It was muggy and hot and the rain kept waking me up. I put the radio on and listened to bits on and off, drifting out of asleep and awake. Waking up hot and sweaty then freezing. I was coughing and my nose kept running. I felt so frustrated! I just wanted to sleep and be able to rest so I could at least be normal through the daytime. I remember saying, 'this is the longest night. EVER.' Anthony mumbled something in agreement and I knew he'd had a rubbish night too.
I got up at 6.30 and made coffees. Felt so tired and frustrated still. After breakfast and tablets I tried to have a bath to make me relax.
I can't really remember what happened next. I was sat in the bath but I just went all weird. I remember crying and going all floppy and hysterical. Anthony helped me back to bed. I felt like I was dreaming and everything looked all big again and I was small like a hobbit?!!
It's comical now, but at the time I was so freaked out!?
I remember struggling to get out of bed and Anthony firmly laying me back down and telling me I needed to sleep. I eventually gave up and nodded off. I drifted in and out of sleep and Anthony was dressed and going food shopping. We were out of lots of things. I woke up again and he was home.
The sleep had done me good, I felt like it had all been a dream and I was starting the day again?! How confusing.
A few hours later, here I am typing my blog. Anthony is outside painting the fence and I'm hoping it doesn't rain on him, he's such a hard worker.
Right now I still feel weird and tired out. An ice lolly and a sleep is needed me thinks. Roll on feelin better! What a strange 48 hours. Yuk!
Off to find a cuddle.. and make my special man a brew! He deserves a blooming medal .. x
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